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Perfect…happiness is guaranteed to make their milk taste better. Like age to a wine or age to a cheese, the scent of the green grass and sight of a blue sky fills the cow with an ecstasy only one of their kind can know.
Why, their cow chemicals (shut up) will be causing a chemical reaction, their udders will be leaking delicious white liquid, the bulls too, they jump for joy, hoping one day, yes, one day they’ll jump so damn high, that they’ll jump over that fence holding them from their freedom.
They’ll jump so high that birds will see and tell their children about the time they saw a cow fly. Dumbo will be old news around the animal community. They’ll jump so fucking damned high, they’ll make it over the moon. But alas, dreams don’t come true, at least not for cattle and their heifer kind.
No, life is not an easy one for a dairy cow. Long emotionless tugs on your udders by men who won’t even look at you in the eye. And for what? Hmm? A few patches of hay and a floor to call your own? No…no..I…I just can’t imagine what life must be like…to not know…that…your one purpose…to make oreos worth while, to make cheese to be grilled, they don’t care about you, they just want you for your body, I say.
And, when it all over, and their body can’t possibly produce any more lactose intolerant people repellant, they end your retched life. But before they do, you get one last look, one last look at the beautiful night sky, stars flying by, you make a wish, but ohh, too bad, stars don’t grant cows wishes, you look at the grass, licking your lips as your stomach churns, but you realize, your life wasn’t bad, you gave a family a lifetime of calcium, lifetime of cheeses, creams, ice cream…yes, maybe, just maybe, my life wasn’t so bad after all…
The farmer finshes you off and you close your eyes, tearful eyes, and the farmers cry too, they all fucking cry. Soon, an army of angels, cow angels, will carry your milkless body into the great cow heavens, where a choir of calf will sing thee to a heavenly sleep. And that my friends, will be the best sleep and rest that you will ever know, and will ever want….now who wants some steak?
Wtf is wrong with me

Foolish thoughts: Women in the Work Force

Now I am a man for equality. I always have been and I always will be.(The equality part at least, I know many people that’d argue the man part.)

I think that it shouldn’t matter what’s between someone’s legs if they can get the job done.

BUT
(There’s always a but in these kinds of rants, amiright?)

But that’s just the thing; If a woman can’t handle the job then she shouldn’t get the job. Especially when it is important.

I am talking of course of bacon servers.

Now if a woman wants to go do something like a police officer, astronaut, or president then that’s fine, but serving bacon is a MAN’S job.

When a woman serves me bacon it’s two strips tops, but men… men get me. They know what I’ve been through, what I’ve seen. It’s a connection that only two men can share. They know that two strips just won’t cut it. I need a man’s portion of bacon, and only a fellow man can ever understand.

Now if there are any ladies that wanna go do a job that’s doesn’t matter and that they can actually handle, like theoretical physicist, that is fine, but leave the important bacon jobs to men.

Note: This is a joke. Don’t send me hate. I don’t hate women.

Note 2: For anyone who’s gonna send me hate anyway, yes I am fat. So go ahead anons, your shot is open.

priest-of-hell:

onetruefool:

priest-of-hell:

onetruefool:

-sitting at laptop on tumblr-

Lalala

Hmm hmm hmm

Yippee ki ye- HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THE FUCKERS

THERE A SPIDER IN MY MOUTH JESUS FUCKING ASS BALLS IN THE RECTUM HOLY MOTHER-wait a minute…

that’s just my hair…

“You have the most entertaining adventures, don’t you?”

And to make things worse, there was a spider on my computer screen when I was watching a scary movie!

Good movie by the way. Guy there looked like you. Except his qualm seems to be with a circular saw rather then a nail gun…. had a toy like yours, though. 

image

I couldn’t find him holding the puzzle orb. Then again, I only looked for about six seconds so… yeah.

priest-of-hell:

onetruefool:

-sitting at laptop on tumblr-

Lalala

Hmm hmm hmm

Yippee ki ye- HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THE FUCKERS

THERE A SPIDER IN MY MOUTH JESUS FUCKING ASS BALLS IN THE RECTUM HOLY MOTHER-wait a minute…

that’s just my hair…

“You have the most entertaining adventures, don’t you?”

And to make things worse, there was a spider on my computer screen when I was watching a scary movie!

Good movie by the way. Guy there looked like you. Except his qualm seems to be with a circular saw rather then a nail gun…. had a toy like yours, though. 

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